InstaFriday {Changes edition}

I'm calling this week's InstaFriday post the week of changes. So many new things are happening around our house. 

Tommy and I celebrated our fifth year wedding anniversary on September 1st. We put the kids to bed early and had a grown-up supper with actual adult conversation. It was lovely. So was the food and drink. The fight before supper, not so lovely but it happens. I don't want to pretend like we are some perfect couple with perfect kids in a perfect house because that is not reality. I want to be honest with all the happenings of our lives. Fights suck but we survived. We always do.

Tell the truth. This nail polish looks like pea soup. Doesn't it?! I am so MAD at myself. I was at the spa getting a wax when I noticed that OPI had a new collection out. I saw this color on one of the girls who worked at the spa and I thought it looked really fresh and springy, so I bought a bottle. Words cannot describe how UGLY this color looked on my nails.I had to change them back immediately. Yuck. Super bummed.

Look what we did!!! We FINALLY changed painted our beautiful library table. I'm not utterly convinced you can tell the difference between these two photos but we primed and painted the table white. I love how it turned out. Now all we need to do is get some hardware for the drawers and then I can start putting things on and in the table. I am so excited!

We had Kit, my in-laws dog, over the weekend. I learned that as much as I like dogs, we are not anywhere near ready to have one. Maybe some day I will change my mind.

Grayson changed classrooms at daycare. tear. This means he is no longer in "the baby room." The transition has been difficult for me. I'm just feeling like I'm not being communicated with, which is really frustrating. I'm trying to keep in mind that the first few weeks of a new routine are always hard and that things will improve. Grayson seems to be doing OK so far and ultimately, that is what matters.

This little book was in his bin of things to take home. His old teachers made this book of memories for us. The book includes tons of pictures of Grayson during his first year in their room, art projects and stories. Things we've never seen before. At the very end they wrote Grayson a little note. I cried. (Shocker, I know) I am so grateful to be able to look back on his first year and see how happy he looked and how well taken care of he was.

We bought Aidan this Lego CITY police station for his birthday. He built it all by himself. I was very impressed. He is just getting so old. Before I know it he is going to be off to college. I can't allow my mind to go there yet.

We were welcomed into the wonderful world of kindergarten this week. Aidan is absolutely loving it and is doing great with the change. The school district we are in actually has the parents attend the first day of school with the child to try to make the transition a bit easier. I can't stress what a great idea I think this is. It made me feel much more comfortable being able to be there on his first day. Plus, we got to meet with the variety of specialists that will be involved in our children's education which is always a good thing.

Happy Friday people! 

(Sharing our daily moments with Jeannett at LifeRearragned)

The Story of Us: Part Two

To read Part One, click here.

After two months of waiting we finally had a date set. We were going to watch a Packer game and just hang out. I figured once the game was over, our date would be over. I could not have been more wrong. We sat at that bar for nine hours. NINE. HOURS. Just talking, eating, laughing. We had the best time. Because I promised I was going to be honest, I now have to admit that I went home and CRIED. I cried my eyes out. Weird, I know. I was just so freaked out. I guess I have to admit that I knew he was someone special. Tommy opened doors for me. Paid for things. Asked my permission before he did things. He was and still is the most respectful person I have ever been with. 

I have had my fair share of boyfriends. In fact, I really can't think of a time I was ever alone. I always settled. I felt like it was better to be with someone even if  I wasn't treated with respect and love. Being alone was scary. Apparently being with someone who treats you like crap is better. The saddest part is I actually believed that.  So here I was with this man who actually treated me the way I deserve to be treated and I totally FREAKED out. I had myself so convinced that I didn't deserve to be with someone who was sweet so what did I do? I did what any "normal" person would do. I set off to sabotage us. The more dates we went on, the nicer he got. He brought me flowers. Told me I was beautiful. Did things every woman WANTS and I ran kicking and screaming the other direction. In fact, I believe I told him once to take me off the pedestal because if he treated me like I was better than him, I would act like it.  Annnd I did. I did the worst thing anyone can do in a relationship. I cheated on him. I went back to my ex. Who does that?? Sadly, this girl. *OUCH* I hate typing that. I hate admitting it. I hate talking about it. BUT its part of our story and its only fair that I'm honest about it.

As soon as I did it, I knew. I knew what a total, complete and utter idiot I was. What the HECK was I doing?! Then to complicate matters, I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to tell him. I saw Tommy a couple of days later and he was showing me how to hold a baseball. Because, you know, depending on where you put your fingers on the baseball, you get a different type of pitch. Who knew? Certainly not this girl. I know it sounds super cheesy and maybe it is but he was just so genuine and cute when he was showing me how to throw the different types of pitches. I just burst into tears. I felt TERRIBLE. The guilt was eating me alive. So, I told him. I thought for sure things were over. He looked at me and didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then he said and I quote because I will never forget this, "this situation is like baseball. Except in baseball its three strikes and you're out. This is strike one and if you ever do this to me again, you're out." Lesson learned. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. I don't know why it took me stepping out of our relationship to realize how much he meant to me but it did. Sounds so pathetic now and I have no excuse. We still laugh today about how ridiculous I was in the beginning of our relationship. I truly believed I didn't deserve him and that is what it comes down to. Since that AWFUL day, we've had many conversations about all of this. I am who I am today BECAUSE OF Tommy.  Up until that point, I thought I knew what love was. I thought I respected myself but I learned I had no idea what love even was.  He taught me how to love. I am so thankful for him and the fact that he saw something in me and was willing to give me a second chance. I don't know where I would be without him.  I owe much of who I am today, to him.

The rest of the story is simple. We continued dating. Moved in together. Got pregnant, perhaps unexpectedly. Got married. Got pregnant again. Bought a house. And lived happily ever after. It hasn't always been easy. And it certainly isn't perfect. But it is the story of us and I wouldn't change a thing.  

The Story of Us: Part One

As February comes to an end, I can't help but think about love.  Isn't that what this month is about? Falling in love. The act of loving others. Noticing the love all around you. Personally, I think every month should be about love. One of my favorite blogs, Take Heart, featured a monthly series that shared different bloggers love stories or how they fell in love with their partners. I have debated sharing my love story for the entire month. I've gone back and forth because I believe a love story is personal. Not something the world needs or necessarily wants to hear about. Then I changed my mind. I want to be honest and forthcoming. I want this blog to be a reflection of me and the things that are important to me. My love story is a HUGE part of me and who I am...therefore, blogging material.

Tommy and I went to the same high school. The same obnoxious small high school. You know the one. Where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everything. He was the quarterback of the football team and a year older than me. I was nowhere near as noticeable. I didn't want to be. Needless to say, we were not on each others radar. We didn't officially meet until he was a senior at UW-La Crosse (UWLAX) and I was visiting one of my besties who also went there. If you don't know much about Wisconsin or colleges in Wisconsin, UW-La Crosse is pretty much in the middle of nowhere. There isn't much to do there except go to school and drink. It's just a fact and it does play a role in our meeting.

It was November and it was COLD. We were at a bar when I noticed him. I was actually in a relationship at the time and should not have been noticing other men but it was hard NOT to notice him. I kept feeling like someone was watching me. Every time I looked over at him, he was looking at me. All of my girlfriends noticed. They kept telling me to go over and talk to him and I wouldn't. This was a sign, although I didn't realize it at the time. I NEVER back down from a challenge but for some reason, he made me nervous. I don't know if it was the way he looked at me or the butterflies he gave me when he smiled but whatever the reason I couldn't make myself talk to him. The night ended and nothing more happened. On my drive home the next day, all I did was think about him. Why was he looking at me? Why didn't he come talk to me?

Fast forward to a year later. I was up visiting my bestie again and saw Tommy out. He didn't go to UWLAX anymore but he happened to be up visiting friends that weekend too.  Perhaps another sign? I think it was actually the same bar as the year before. This time I was not in a relationship and decided to just go talk to him. We talked the entire night. After bar close a group of people were going back to his friends apartment. I wanted him to ask me for my phone number and he hadn't yet so I was stalling. I begged my friends to come along. I sat there for two hours and he still hadn't asked so I decided it was time to leave. He asked to walk me out. I said OK. As we are walking outside he finally asked so we exchanged numbers. I left him in the parking lot and I was so excited.

A week passed. A month passed. Two months passed. No call. I was frustrated. I wanted him to call so badly but I refused to call him. Finally, I gave in. I purposely called him when I knew he would be at work. (ohhhhh the games we play, right?) I figured if he called me back that meant he wanted to see me too. If not, I was going to move on. Wouldn't you know, he called back and we set a date to finally get together.

To be continued...

My heart

How beautiful is this little boy?! I suppose I'm biased but looking at this picture makes my heart melt. He looks so sweet and peaceful. This weekend I was watching him play outside in the snow and it hit me. I love this boy so much. More than I ever knew I could. He can make mistake after mistake and it won't matter because I will always love him. Regardless of what he does, I will love him. Of course I've always loved him but watching him play outside when he didn't know I was looking just solidified it for me. The two of us have  had a rough go the past few months. Aidan really struggled when Gray was born. He acted out and directed all of his frustration at me which made our interactions really difficult. I was so fed up and frustrated with his behavior. Watching him play in the snow and looking at this picture makes all of that disappear. I would do anything for this boy. Anything. He is my heart. And I am so blessed to have him in my life.

To my boys

Tommy dearest.

I love you because...

you balance "us" out so perfectly. You are the perfect compliment to my crazy

I love you because...

you tell me I'm beautiful even with zit cream on (yeah, I said that!)

I love you because...

you teach me things I never thought I would care about. Who knew I would someday like baseball and know when spring training starts??

I love you because...

you gave me our boys. You are an amazing Dad
I love you because...
you make me want to be a better person

I love you because...

through the thick and thin, you've always been there. Thank you for never giving up on us

I love you more than words can say

 

Aidan Monkey

I love you because...

you are the best big brother in the world

I love you because...

you are so funny and make us laugh all the time

I love you because...

you dance like a robot while singing "I like to move it move it"

I love you because..

you like to spend time baking and doing crafts with me. I dread the day when hanging out with me is no longer fun
I love you because...
you can tell the difference between "mommy music" and "daddy music" and you know the words to Adele (whether this is a good or bad thing is still TBD!)

I love you because..

you are my first baby and you taught me how to love unconditionally

and last but certainly not least...my Gray baby

I love you because...

the first thing you do when you wake up is smile at me

I love you because...

you have the cutest army crawl

I love you because...

of your determined personality

I love you because...

you are still so innocent and sweet

I love you because...

you love to snuggle up with me
I love you because...
you have the cutest, red, spiky hair

Happy Valentines Day to you and yours!