Love and Logic

My mom's group is hosting the Love and Logic parenting seminar. So for the next seven weeks on Tuesday nights, I will be busy learning new techniques on how to be a better Mommy. YAY! I am really excited about this and you can look forward to hearing all about my experience here. Lucky you! I digress... Have you heard about this awesome seminar? If not, Love and Logic is a parenting seminar that gives different techniques to use to help raise responsible kids and  have fun at the same time. 

The reason I wanted to take the class is because Mr. Aidan gives me a RUN for my money (...and who doesn't need new tricks to help parent every now and then?). He is my little button pusher and in all honesty, we are cut from the exact same mold. We are the same person except he is obviously the younger boy version of me. SO scary to think about!! As Aidan has gotten older it has become more and more difficult for me to reason with him. And really, why am I reasoning in the first place? I am the adult, he is the child...in my mind there should be no reasoning. Aidan wants what he wants when he wants it. PERIOD. End of story. He is so stubborn and so am I. When we get into our little "tiffs" it is a battle of the wills and to be honest, half the time, he wins! Which, I know is not acceptable. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with him and then I lose my patience completely and start yelling at him. I don't want to be like that anymore. Plus, lets be honest, when you're screaming at your child, he or she isn't learning anything and you walk away feeling like crap because you just freaked out on your kid. NOT fun. Now, I'm at the point where I don't know what else to try.  Hence, why Love and Logic is so desperately needed.  Last night was the first class and I learned so much.

I think the biggest take away for me was to use LESS words. I am always talking, talking, talking. When Aidan does something wrong or misbehaves he goes to his room. When he comes out I ask him why he was in his room, what he did wrong, what he will do different next time (because you know there will be a next time), I ask him to apologize, blah blah blah. With Love and Logic you DON'T do that. You use empathy instead and let the empathy and consequences do the talking instead of you. Wait, WHAT? You mean I'm not supposed to go on and on about what a bad choice he made and ask if he is sorry? oh. weird. So next time Aidan acts out, I am supposed to use an empathetic statement with him (such as "Oh, what a bummer you threw a toy at your brother. Looks like you are going to have to spend some time in your room. We are really going to miss you out here. I am so sorry you need to spend time away from us. I sure wish you hadn't thrown that toy, etc), send him to his room, let him come out when he is ready and then just hug and kiss him and move on. NO explaining. This is supposed to give him the chance to think through the situation on his own and learn from it. Love and Logic actually promotes making mistakes. In fact, making mistakes is one of the steps to children learning responsibility. Again, weird but if you think about it, it makes total sense. We learn from our mistakes so that we don't repeat them.  I feel like I've spent so much time telling Aidan what not to do which only makes him want to do it MORE and then the cycle repeats itself. He isn't learning anything because he needs to figure it out on his own. Not have me constantly tell him, No. NO. NO. Hmmmm...things to think about.  

The biggest challenge in implementing all of this is that it is going to be a learning experience for me too. I pretty much do everything that Love and Logic tells you not to do. There are definitely going to be adjustments and challenges but I am so excited to see all of the changes that come because I know things can only get better.