Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Story of Us: Part Two

To read Part One, click here.
After two months of waiting we finally had a date set. We were going to watch a Packer game and just hang out. I figured once the game was over, our date would be over. I could not have been more wrong. We sat at that bar for nine hours. NINE. HOURS. Just talking, eating, laughing. We had the best time. Because I promised I was going to be honest, I now have to admit that I went home and CRIED. I cried my eyes out. Weird, I know. I was just so freaked out. I guess I have to admit that I knew he was someone special. Tommy opened doors for me. Paid for things. Asked my permission before he did things. He was and still is the most respectful person I have ever been with. 

I have had my fair share of boyfriends. In fact, I really can't think of a time I was ever alone. I always settled. I felt like it was better to be with someone even if  I wasn't treated with respect and love. Being alone was scary. Apparently being with someone who treats you like crap is better. The saddest part is I actually believed that.  So here I was with this man who actually treated me the way I deserve to be treated and I totally FREAKED out. I had myself so convinced that I didn't deserve to be with someone who was sweet so what did I do? I did what any "normal" person would do. I set off to sabotage us. The more dates we went on, the nicer he got. He brought me flowers. Told me I was beautiful. Did things every woman WANTS and I ran kicking and screaming the other direction. In fact, I believe I told him once to take me off the pedestal because if he treated me like I was better than him, I would act like it.  Annnd I did. I did the worst thing anyone can do in a relationship. I cheated on him. I went back to my ex. Who does that?? Sadly, this girl. *OUCH* I hate typing that. I hate admitting it. I hate talking about it. BUT its part of our story and its only fair that I'm honest about it.

As soon as I did it, I knew. I knew what a total, complete and utter idiot I was. What the HECK was I doing?! Then to complicate matters, I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to tell him. I saw Tommy a couple of days later and he was showing me how to hold a baseball. Because, you know, depending on where you put your fingers on the baseball, you get a different type of pitch. Who knew? Certainly not this girl. I know it sounds super cheesy and maybe it is but he was just so genuine and cute when he was showing me how to throw the different types of pitches. I just burst into tears. I felt TERRIBLE. The guilt was eating me alive. So, I told him. I thought for sure things were over. He looked at me and didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then he said and I quote because I will never forget this, "this situation is like baseball. Except in baseball its three strikes and you're out. This is strike one and if you ever do this to me again, you're out." Lesson learned. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. I don't know why it took me stepping out of our relationship to realize how much he meant to me but it did. Sounds so pathetic now and I have no excuse. We still laugh today about how ridiculous I was in the beginning of our relationship. I truly believed I didn't deserve him and that is what it comes down to. Since that AWFUL day, we've had many conversations about all of this. I am who I am today BECAUSE OF Tommy.  Up until that point, I thought I knew what love was. I thought I respected myself but I learned I had no idea what love even was.  He taught me how to love. I am so thankful for him and the fact that he saw something in me and was willing to give me a second chance. I don't know where I would be without him.  I owe much of who I am today, to him.

The rest of the story is simple. We continued dating. Moved in together. Got pregnant, perhaps unexpectedly. Got married. Got pregnant again. Bought a house. And lived happily ever after. It hasn't always been easy. And it certainly isn't perfect. But it is the story of us and I wouldn't change a thing.  

No comments:

Post a Comment

Site Design By Designer Blogs