Friday, June 15, 2012

Update: One Word 2012

At the start of the year, I wrote this post because I thought it might be fun to focus on a word and make it my mantra for the year. The word I chose was relish. I really wanted to focus on relaxing and taking time to enjoy the fun things life has to offer rather than always working on checking things off my to-do list. Are you ready to hear how I've been doing?

The short answer is, terrible! I can't pretend like I've been doing a great job because I'd by lying. In all honesty, I don't think I have the ability to relax. Is that weird? Every time I sit down to TRY and enjoy some downtime I just think about all the things I should be doing and then get up and do them. It's a disease or something. I have good intentions to relax. I have good intentions to not let the dirty dishes bother me. I have good intentions to enjoy my time alone with Tommy once the kids are asleep. However, none of these things happen. I can't relax. Dirty dishes BUG ME and when Tommy and I finally have some alone time, I do the dishes, make lunches, start laundry, or clean up from the day. Then when I finally do sit down, I fall asleep.

Clearly, I need to strike a balance. But the truth is, I like the chaos. I'd rather be busy all day, working, chasing kids, driving from here to there, making lunches, planning our weekend than sitting like a bump on a log.  Deep down though, I KNOW I need a break. I need to enjoy some downtime. I need to spend QT with Tommy and the boys. Even more so, I need to get it in my head and know that its OK to not be doing something I've learned that I'm really good at saying I need a break but I'm not really good at actually taking one. I have six more months to work this out and I'm going to make it a priority.

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